Mercy Rule
by Her Sweetness
Summary: Series of drabbles through which Mello continuously challenges Near to various competitions. Dressing in drag, mudwrestling, masochism, Mello's hotness, Matt's obsessive pwning and much more ensue.
1. Cuteness

A/N: _This is a series of drabbles I will be updating if and when encouraged! Enjoy!_

* * *

Mercy Rule

First Challenge!

* * *

Mello was lounging on the windowsill of the playroom, a bar of chocolate hanging from between his lips. It wasn't a particularly exciting day - at least it hadn't been so far. Rodger had already hit him over the head twice with his cane and Matt was somewhere playing DS and being "epic", whatever that meant…

The hardwood floor creaked over by the door and Mello tilted his head towards it, seeing Near tiptoe into the room, his arms full of toys.

"Aw," Mello groaned loudly. "Why can't I go anywhere without you following me, huh?"

Near blinked at him whilst setting himself down on the floor. "I have not seen you all day, Mello."

The blond rolled his eyes. "That's no excuse to come searching for me."

"But I didn't."

Mello huffed, taking a large chomp off of his candy. He eyed Near suspiciously as the boy set up his toys in a little row and carefully twirled his hand with the other hand. Twirl, twirl, again and again. Mello watched the motion with a growing twitch in his eye.

"Why do you do that?" he asked disgustedly.

Near looked up. "Do what?"

"That hair thing?"

"… Oh. I'm not sure."

"Pah! You do it because you think you're cute, don't you?"

"… No, I-"

Mello interrupted with a smirk. "Well, tough titties, Near. I'm way cuter than you could ever hope to be."

Near looked at him for a moment before sighing, shaking his head, and returning to his toys.

Mello stood up from the sill, seemingly outraged. He shouted, "How dare you!"

"How dare I what?"

"You think I'm not cute!"

"I said no such thing."

"_Do_ you think I'm cute?" He squinted.

Near sighed. "Mello-"

Mello laughed. "You queer! You do!"

"But I only-"

"All right, Near, we're settling this once and for all!" Mello came up to the boy, his hands placed firmly on his hips. Without waiting for a response from Near, he reached down, grasped his hand and pulled him to his feet, leading him out of the room.

"Mello, where are we going?" he asked, distraught after having to leave his toys. He'd only wanted some quiet playtime.

"We're going to see who's cutest!"

"But I don't want-"

"And I don't care!"

The two boys went into Mello and Matt's room upstairs which was empty at the moment. Mello dropped Near off on his bed and went over to the closet, throwing it open. He began to viciously throw out clothes onto the bed beside Near, muttering angry things.

Near watched as the pile beside him grew. "Mello… why do you own so many dresses?"

"I don't," he huffed. "They're Matt's."

"… Matt's."

"Yeah, for when he cosplays as Sakura." (1)

"… I see."

Mello turned around and looked at all of the dresses and ribbons and stockings. He grinned at Near. "Take your pick."

In about twenty minutes, the two of them were dressed.

Near looked up at Mello, feeling slightly uncomfortable in drag. "But who shall judge?"

"You'll see."

Mello took Near by the hand again (complaining that the boy walked too slowly) and led him down stairs to the common room. They were greeted with the sounds of bleeps and clicks coming from the couch where a tuft of red hair was seen just over the top.

"Okay," Mello said, stopping a few feet away. "You come over in like a minute."

"All right."

Mello approached his friend on the couch, clearing his throat in order to be noticed. Matt paused the game and looked up, finding Mello in a short red dress, high-heel boots and a black choker on. He blinked and then busted out into laughter. "D-Dude, what the fuck? You look like Kiki! You lose a bet or something?" (2)

Mello frowned. "Don't you think I'm cute?"

"Well… you're in my clothes… uhh…"

Near shuffled into sight and stood beside Mello in a see-through negligee and a sparkly ribbon in his hair, being twirled around his finger.

Matt's nose began to bleed.

Mello raged. "DAMMIT!"

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 0 Near: 1

* * *

A/N: _Would you like me to continue? Tell me your thoughts! Thanks!_

_(1) From Card Captor Sakura._

_(2) From Kiki's Delivery Service._


	2. Insults

A/N: _Ah, hello, hello. Thank you for the reviews. If you venture to my profile, you will see the details on this series._

* * *

Mercy Rule

Second Challenge!

* * *

Matt had some fun fondling Near in his little negligee and Near was rather passive-aggressive about it. Mello moaned and bitched about Near's victory for a while until Matt calmed him down with a chocolate bar and Mello sat on the opposite end of the couch with his candy and was being slightly angsty when he looked over at Near sitting placidly on Matt's lap.

"Dude… what the fuck are you doing?" he grumbled, annoyed.

Matt had returned to his video gaming and looped his arms around Near to do it, resting his chin on Near's shoulder. "Talking to me?"

"Yeah. Stop flirting with Near!"

Near's eye twitched.

Matt shook his head, grinning. "Don't be jealous just because I'm irresistible to chicks."

Near frowned. _Chicks_?

"Pah," Mello scoffed. "You can only attract freakish albinos."

Near supposed this was a dig at Matt more than at him but he still felt rather insulted and said so. "I am not a freakish albino. Please keep your comments to yourself," he said, playing with a tassel on his negligee.

Mello raised his eyebrow and grinned. "Oh, you're right, you aren't an albino. You're a cross-dressing sheep!"

"You're cross-dressing, too."

Mello looked down at himself and blanched. "W-Well, you smell funny!"

"Excuse me for not donning Precious Secrets perfume every morning."

"Idiot!"

"_You_ are number two here, Mello."

"You have no friends!"

"And yet here I am on Matt's lap."

Matt shrugged, his goggled-eyes focused on the small screen. "He's got ya there, Mel."

"Shut the fuck up! No he doesn't!" Mello stood up on the couch and pointed an accusing finger at Near. "You sleep with dolls!"

"You sleep with Matt."

"ONCE! JUST ONCE!" Mello was growing hysterical. "He was just _next_ to me!"

Near looked up at him, seemingly bored.

"Grrr, you're in a _negligee_!"

"You're in giant bloomers."

"Yeah," Matt said distractedly. "Give those back too, Mel, those are my favorites."

"Apathetic cotton ball!"

"Hyper-active transvestite."

Mello's already pink face grew red and he jumped off of the couch, fists shaking at his sides. He had absolutely no idea what to do with himself, he was so angry that he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS!"

There was a dying noise on Matt's game.

Near's eye began to twitch and he got up from Matt's lap and walked up the stairs without a word. It was quiet for a moment, neither Matt nor Mello expecting that.

"Well… I win!"

"How do you figure?"

"By default!"

"… Dude, you know he pwned you." Matt turned back to his game. "Aw, fuck, was that my last life?"

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 0 Near: 2

* * *

A/N: _Defaults don't count! XD Don't worry, Mello-fans, he'll win some. Oh, and the next one will be a little longer. XD_


	3. Sizing It Up

A/N: _Yay, thank you for the reviews. FYI, the title is in reference to the "mercy rule" in sports where if the losing team is too far behind that it's embarrassing, the competition is over to save them face. If you didn't know._

* * *

Mercy Rule

Third Challenge!

* * *

"Ah, Matt, get over yourself."

"You and your stupid contests, Mel. I died because of you!"

"You died because you were playing with one hand and using the other to feel Near up."

"I didn't hear him complaining."

"That queer."

Mello and Matt had gone back up to their room a little bit after Near had left. Mello was ready to get out of the dress and Matt was tired of dying. So they entered the room and Matt flopped down on his bed, bored, as Mello pulled the red spaghetti straps over his shoulders and slid out of it, the bloomers following.

"S'kinda weird how you can walk in heels so easily, Mel," Matt said casually, watching his friend find something else to wear.

Mello glared, pulling a black shirt over his head. "You tryin' to start something?"

"Not really."

"Good."

"You should go say sorry to Near, though."

Mello pulled up his black pants. "_Why_?" he asked, hopping around.

"You insulted him!"

"It was an insult _contest_," he stressed, "which _I _won, by the way."

"Scoreboard says different."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Come on, he didn't say things about your size."

"That's cause _I'm_ substantial," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah, like a Ken doll."

"HEY! Just who's side are you on anyway?"

"Yours, Mel. But wrong is wrong." He shrugged and got up from the bed. "Come on, let's go apologize."

Mello looked at his friend like he was off his rocker. Then, a plan formed in his blond head and he grinned, walking towards the door. "Okay, Matt, let's go find him." He began to walk down the hallway with Matt in tow. "If he's so insulted about it, that means I must've been right. And if I was right about him being smaller than me, that's just something I can beat him at!"

Matt laughed. "You perv!"

Mello ignored him and they came to Near's bedroom door which was closed. Mello frowned and knocked on it forcefully.

"Come in," a small voice invited.

Mello nearly kicked the door open and he and Matt entered. Near was sitting on his floor in his normal attire of pajamas and Matt groaned at Near for having changed. Both Mello and Near ignored him.

"I wasn't expecting you to visit me," Near said complacently.

Mello frowned. "This isn't a visit! This is war! Matt, let's do this."

"Yup," Matt chirped happily and came over to Near, picking him up bridal style from his seat on the floor. He dumped the boy on the bed and Mello came over, holding Near's arms down while Matt straddled his waist.

"W-What are you doing?" Near squealed, red in the face. He stared up at Matt.

"Not much." Matt started to unbutton his pants.

Near kicked and flailed wildly. "Stop that! This… this is rape!"

Matt tilted his head like he could hear. "What's that you said? Grape?"

"_Rape_!"

"Oh, you said _rape_?"

"Yes!"

Matt laughed. "You just said 'yes', so it's no longer rape. Calm down, kid, we're just inspecting the troops."

Near turned away, flushed and embarrassed when Matt lost patience with his buttons and ripped the pajama pants off. Matt and Mello blinked at Near's exposed bottom half.

Mello cried out in disbelief, "Aw, you gotta be shittin' me!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The three of them looked towards the open door at Rodger peering in, aghast.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 0 Near: 3

* * *

A/N: _That a boy, Near, show 'em what you're workin' with. _


	4. Rodger's Office

A/N: _I maybe could've gotten this out this morning HAD I NOT OVERSLEPT!_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Fourth Challenge!

* * *

"Now, what in the name of Gramma's cookies were you doing to Near?"

"Aw," Mello protested, sulking, "we weren't doing anything! He was squealing for nothing!"

"You were _molesting_ him!" Rodger shouted.

"No - _Matt_ was molesting him. _I_ was just looking."

Matt shrugged.

The four of them were in Rodger's office, in the three chairs in front of the old man's desk. They were accustomed to being called in at least four times a week for one reason or another (and Mello usually _was_ the reason) but never for something like this. Near was sitting in the third chair - a new pair of pajamas on - with his knee in front of his face, refusing to look at Matt or Mello.

Rodger squinted his eyes at the two troublemakers. "If I see either of you on top of Near again, I'll… I'll…"

"You'll _what_?" Mello challenged.

Rodger reached over the desk with his cane and whacked Mello hard on the head.

Mello yelped. "What the fuck?"

Whack. "Stop cussing!"

"Stop it!" Mello frowned and rubbed his head with both hands.

Rodger reseated himself and cleared his throat warily. "Now listen up. L is coming for a visit tomorrow and I want you two on your best behavior all throughout his visit."

"Why aren't you warning _him_?" Mello asked, pointing violently at Near.

"He never does anything!"

Mello pouted. "Yet."

"So what time is he gonna be here?" Matt asked, bored of Rodger and Mello's bickering.

"Around ten. He isn't staying long. He just thinks he's been neglecting you three and wants to see you, which is craziness to me. If you ask me, he's far too kind-"

"We _didn't_ ask you," Mello mumbled.

Whack.

Mello cringed, his head bobbing over the back of the chair.

"Anyway," Rodger resumed. "The summary is be well-behaved. No more fondling Near."

Matt raised his hand. "Never?"

Rodger glared. "_Never_."

Near shuddered lightly in his seat. "And," he said, "I would not like to be dressed up as a female anymore."

Rodger gaped at Mello.

"Aw, for fuck's-" Whack. "-sake… Near picked that outfit out himself!"

"I would never believe such a thing," Rodger said.

Mello scrunched up his face. "You just like him better than me!"

"That's right."

"Hey!"

"Now, all three of you, shoo. I have much work to do."

"Yeah yeah," Mello grumbled, getting out of his chair. "Work like jacking off to Watari's picture…"

Whack.

Whack.

Whack.

"OUT!" Rodger shouted and the three of them went tumbling out of his office, the door slamming shut behind them.

Mello banged on the door violently. "You can't hide it! I know the truth!"

Matt put his hand on Mello's shoulder. "Dude, calm down. Look, you won a challenge."

"… Did I?"

"Well, Rodger beat you over the head more than Near…"

Mello blinked. "… Fuck yeah."

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 1 Near: 3

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A/N: _Thanks for the reviews, peeps. You know I love ya._


	5. K I S S I N G

A/N: _Thanks for the reviews, guys!_

Mercy Rule

Fifth Challenge!

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The next day at promptly ten o' clock, Watari's big black car showed up in front of the Wammy House. Naturally, all the orphans got very excited upon seeing the vehicle and they all lined up against the windowpanes to see. As soon as Mello had heard all of the excitement from downstairs, he eagerly hopped out of his bed and scrambled around the room for clothes, getting Matt riled up in the process. The two of them thrashed down the stairs, practically tangled within each other and thumped to a stop at the front door, ending up beside Near, who had been there all along.

"What're you doing here?" Mello asked, agitated.

Near continued to twirl his hair. "I'm waiting to see L, as you are."

Matt peeked around from Mello's shoulder and waved. "Hey, Near!"

"… Hello, Matt."

Then, the door opened and everyone was quiet. A hunched over figure in baggy clothes and messy black hair came in on bare feet and Watari was behind him, carrying a large suitcase that everyone learned was full of sugary snacks.

"L!" Mello howled and launched himself onto the man's waist.

L smiled and patted Mello's hair. "Hello, Mello." He looked up. "Hello, everyone."

It took a while but soon the rest of the children settled down and dispersed, leaving L alone with the three top students. They were walking through the upstairs hallway when L asked, "Mello, have you been behaving yourself?"

"Sure have!"

Matt snorted laughter.

Mello glared at him.

"Ah," L said, smiling a little. "Because I've heard you were accosting Near again."

Near sighed.

"No! Did Rodger tell you that? He's lying!"

"Hmm."

"Hey, L," Matt said, tugging on the man's arm when they got to Matt and Mello's room, "let's play videogames, okay?"

"Oh, all right," he said, surprised and followed the boy.

Right before Near walked in the room, Mello grabbed him by the collar of his pajamas and tugged him back into the hallway. "Okay, listen," he whispered harshly, "next challenge."

Near blinked. "Oh… okay…"

Mello motioned towards L sitting on Matt's bed. "First person who can get L to kiss them is the winner."

"What? But L always kisses us-"

"Not on the forehead, dummy, I mean on the lips." Mello puckers his lips for emphasis.

Near just stared. "What?"

"Don't be such an eunuch. Let's go," he said, pulling on Near's struggling hand. They came into the room, L sitting on the bed with his Gamecube controller in hand and Matt on the floor with his, both staring at the television. Mello sat down on one side of L and Near sat down on the other. Mello motioned for him to go first.

Near hesitated. "Mm. L?"

"Yes, Near."

"Could you… I mean… Hm."

L paused the game. "Yes?"

"_Hey_," Matt objected.

"I just…" Near sighed and looked up at L. He puckered his lips slightly and closed his eyes.

L blinked. "Is something wrong, Near?"

Near opened his eyes when he realized L had no clue what he was trying to accomplish. Near sighed and looked away, very embarrassed.

Mello grinned and tugged on L's sleeve for attention.

"… Yes, Mello?" He looked at the blond.

"Hey, L," Mello purred, smirking, and pushed down on L's shoulder, forcing him to the mattress. He climbed on top of the man and pushed his lips to L's, ignoring the squirming noises coming from him.

Matt, who had been waiting for the game to restart, turned around. "Stop holding up the - Ooh, boy." He lifted his goggles.

Near was a dark pink, his eyes wide.

L finally managed to break away from Mello's domineering and he squinted a dark eye at the boy. "Mello, when you get older, you are going to be _extremely_ promiscuous. Having said that…" L leaned back, letting him return to the kiss.

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Well, damn. Found something Mel's good at."

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 2 Near: 3

* * *

A/N: _I did this right before I'm off to school. Later!_


	6. Pool

A/N: _Thanks for all the reviews!_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Sixth Challenge!

* * *

"Mm…" L finally pushed Mello off and set the boy back on the edge of the bed, sitting himself up properly as well. He sighed and looked around the room at Near who was now sitting on the floor beside Matt and Matt who had been watching, awe-struck. L cleared his throat and looked back at Mello who was licking his lips happily.

"Now, Mello, what was that for?"

"Oh," Mello chirped, suddenly in a good mood. "It was a challenge."

"… Challenge?"

"Me and Near have been competing."

L shook his head. "Not again… Is Near leading?"

"Only by one!" Mello pouted. "His wins have all been real stupid anyway, L."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, Mello. Like getting hit on the head repeatedly and being molested by a man ten years older than you have been real substantial."

"Shut it!"

L coughed, raising one eyebrow. "Molested, hmm. Anyway, let's get away from this challenging nonsense. What would you three like to do?"

They thought.

"Let's go into the backyard!" Mello said. "There's a blow-up pool back there."

"And it's warm outside," Matt added.

"SWIMMING!" both boys shouted and rushed into their closet, fighting and bickering with each other to move out of the way. While they were in there, L turned back to Near who had since somewhat come out of his defensive ball.

"Well, Near, would you like to go get your own swimming trunks?"

Near nodded meekly.

In about fifteen minutes, all four of them were out in the backyard which had only been mowed last weekend. L was blowing his lungs out into the rubbed pool and then set it down and filled it with water from the hose. The thing was about five feet deep and while Matt and Mello splashed and dunked each other's heads in, Near was sitting in the grass with his action-figure.

L sat beside him in a nearby lawn chair.

Mello looked over the side. "Hey, L! Aren't you coming in?"

"No, Mello, I'm here to make sure no one drowns."

"Ah, ain't nobody gonna drown!"

"I know you think so, Mello."

Matt looked over the side as well, watching Near play with his toy. The pale boy was in light blue trunks that came down to his knees and light orange water-wings placed on his upper arms.

"Hey, Near," Matt crooned, gaining the boy's attention. "You sure are cute down there! Come in!"

Near blushed. "No thank you…"

"Yeah, you chicken!" Mello called, pushing Matt and his hormones out of the way. He suddenly grinned. "Oh, Near! Come here! Let's have a diving competition!"

L looked up, "Mello, that's not-"

"Aw, come on, L, it's just for fun!" Mello pleaded, looking at the detective with watery blue eyes. L sighed. Mello scrabbled down out of the water and grabbed Near by the hand, jerking him up. They both stood on the edge of the water on the top of the stairs and Mello was up first.

"Woo-hoo!" he yelled, jumping down. Unfortunately, he did a belly flop and all the air was knocked out of him on contact with the water.

Near shuddered at the look of the water and then slipped in, falling in head-first on top of Mello. Matt and L gasped. In a second, Near came floating right back up, his face pink and his water-wings guarding him.

Matt looked down into the water. "Well, Near… since Mello's dead, I guess you won."

L groaned and went into the pool after Mello.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 2 Near: 4

* * *

A/N: _Dude, I did this in ten minutes. XD_


	7. Turn On

A/N: _Word to your momma._

* * *

Mercy Rule

Seventh Challenge!

* * *

Mello was dragged out of the pool, alive and water-logged. L lay the boy out on the ground and when Mello coughed out all of the water in his system, he was pissed off because of the score. L gave him a pat on the head and a chocolate bar to calm him down and they resumed with the rest of their day.

Unfortunately at around six o' clock in the evening, L was called away to the States for another case. He and Watari left without alerting the other orphans as it would only cause mass hysteria and sniffling. He kissed each boy on the forehead gently and when he came to Mello, the boy raised his face expectantly. L only smiled and kissed him on the forehead as well, much to Mello's dismay.

Near scuffled off to his room in order to avoid Mello and the other two boys went off to cause mayhem throughout the orphanage, being chased by Rodger and his cane on the way.

And after the majority of the place was asleep at eleven o' clock, Near was finally settling into his bed after hours of uninterrupted playtime with his toys and puzzles.

He lay in bed in the quiet of his room and his eyes drifted close…

"Near."

Near gasped and sat up like a bolt, being confronted with two blue eyes in his face.

"M-Mello!" Near whispered, scooting back towards the pillows. "What are… you doing?"

"I'm here to wake you up!"

"Well… but what time is it?"

"Eh, like eleven. I think."

Near sighed. "Why am I up then?"

"I had an epiphany. Get out of bed, it's time for the next challenge."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Yes." Mello didn't wait for another of Near's gripes. He grabbed the boy by the hand and yanked him from between the covers and Near flopped to his feet, stumbling around into Mello. Mello grunted and started out of the boy's room, down the hall to his and Matt's room.

When he nudged the door back open, he peeped in to see if Matt was still asleep. The redhead had played all through Kingdom Hearts 2 with a package of gummy worms and four Red Bulls, so he was crashing hard, his snores sounding throughout the room.

The two boys crept in.

"Are we going to wake Matt?" Near whispered.

"Nope." Mello climbed up onto the bed and pulled Near up as well. They crawled up to where Matt was sleeping, his goggles placed around his neck and his body splayed out under the comforter. In one swift motion, Mello grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it down, revealing Matt's thin body in only a tee-shirt and boxers. Mello grinned at Near. "It's actually a good thing he's _not_ awake."

"… I don't understand."

"God, for being such a genius, you're dumb. Listen, we're going to see which one of us can turn him on the most while he's sleeping."

Near was all eyes.

"Don't be a chicken."

"But that's molesting him, we _can't_-"

"Ah, he'll love it. You wanna go first?"

Near shook his head violently.

Mello shrugged. "Whatever," he said. Mello leaned down over Matt's sleeping face and hesitated a little, then shaking off his nerves (Ha! What've _I_ got to be scared of? I'm Mello, the sexing-extraordinaire!) and placed his lips in the crook of Matt's neck.

Near watched, slightly horrified and slightly intrigued as Mello continued to lick and suck, simultaneously running his fingertips lightly down Matt's torso.

And Matt, being Matt, responded rather accordingly, his eyelids fluttering and twitching at Mello's contact. He shifted his foot and it bumped into Near's knee.

"Mmm," Matt whined, squirming.

Mello sat up and then forcibly placed his hand on Matt's crotch. Matt yipped lightly in his sleep. Mello turned to Near, giving him an eager thumbs-up. "Something's going bump in the night! Wanna feel?"

"_No_," Near whispered harshly.

Mello shrugged. "Suit yourself. Your turn."

"I _can't_-"

"Wanna forfeit?" Mello grinned.

Near squinted at him detestably and then crawled over to Matt. His shirt was still raised from Mello's turn so Near lowered himself and pressed his lips lightly against the soft skin there. He moved lower and lower until he was at the waistband of Matt's boxers and just as he was debating what to do next, he felt Matt move beneath him and in that movement, Near sensed an impending doom.

He looked up into Matt's bleary, half-lidded eyes.

"Uh… Matt?" he squeaked, blushing.

Mello blinked.

Matt looked at the two and saw that his clothes were askew and that Near was on top of him, lips parted. He suddenly grinned and crawled forward, forcing Near back. "Ha, I knew you'd come around, Near," he growled.

"N-No, see, Mello-" Near tried to be calm but was caught off guard when Matt launched himself onto the boy and they fell onto the floor in a fit of debauchery.

Mello looked meekly over the side. This losing thing was not good. However, seeing Near in a bendable position like that was kind of funny…

"Mello, help! Tell him!" he called from the floor, panicked.

"… Whuzzat? Can't hear you, Near."

"_Mello_!"

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 2 Near: 5

* * *

A/N: _More next time, guys. Drop me a review, 'kay? Don't worry about Mello, losing makes you work harder!_


	8. Bodily Functions

Mercy Rule

Eighth Challenge!

* * *

"You like _raped_ him."

"Ah, I did not."

"Well, it was close."

Matt shrugged. "Well, it's kinda his fault."

Mello laughed, "How?"

"He was on top of me when I woke up. Thanks for that, by the way," Matt said, smirking over at Mello as they walked down the hall to the dining room the next morning. "I didn't know if you'd be able to pull it off."

"Told you I'd do it. Be grateful - I had to sacrifice an _easy_ win just so he would feel you up."

Matt patted Mello on the head and began singing, "Did you ever know that you're my heeeero…"

"Shut it."

"'Cause you are the _wind_ ben-"

"Matt!"

"All right, all right!"

The two arrived at the dining hall just in time for breakfast. Instead of taking their usual seats at the back of the room after they had gotten their food, they spotted Near sitting by himself and went over to him instead, seating themselves down on either side of the pale boy.

Near looked up, horrified.

"Ah, you look so sad, Near," Matt said.

"Maybe that is because I am the target of much torture when you two are around," he said with a defensive edge in his voice.

Mello waved away his statement. "You drama-queen."

Near frowned at them both. "Do you intend on staying?"

"Yep," they answered.

Near, verging on a pout, calmed himself with a sigh and turned back to his food, reaching for his glass of milk and taking a small sip. He set it back down, retaining a milk-mustache. In a second, a tiny burp came from him and he blushed upon gaining Matt and Mello's attention.

"Excuse me," he whispered, covering his mouth.

Mello raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck was that?"

"… What do you mean?"

Then, Mello began to laugh. "Is… was that a burp? What the fuck, Near, you do it like a girl!"

Matt couldn't hide his snickers either.

Near turned red. "What in the world am I supposed to do-"

"I'll show you how to do it like a man!" Mello grabbed Near's glass of milk and ignored the small boy's protest about germs. He chugged it in a few seconds flat, urged on by Matt and then he slammed the glass back down.

Mello turned to Matt. "Countdown!"

"Yes, my captain! Five!"

Near blinked.

"Four!"

Mello cracked his knuckles.

"Three!"

Near sighed.

"Two!"

Matt grinned.

"One! Fire!"

Mello opened his mouth and let out an Earth-shattering vibration that caused all orphans present to turn and stare in disgusted awe at their table. Near ducked down, hiding his head in shame.

Matt was dying of laughter in his chair. "Dude, that was bigger than the one last week!"

Mello grinned down at Near. "Take that!"

"I'm afraid I just did…" he sighed, shaking his head.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 3 Near: 5

* * *

A/N: _Thanks to all the nice reviewers…_


	9. WWWF

Mercy Rule

Ninth Challenge!

* * *

Later on that day, it warmed up and Matt and Mello were feeling like stretching their legs. They'd been cooped up for a while and rowdy boys like themselves never lasted long inside - either they went out on their own accord or were kicked out. In this case, it was the latter.

"And don't come back in here until you release some of your wiggles!" Rodger called after them, waving his cane violently.

The two tumbled out of the backdoor and Rodger shut the door behind them, locking it.

Matt blinked at his blond friend. "He knows we can just sneak in through the windows, right?"

"Nah, he's gone senile." Mello stretched, cracking his back.

Matt shrugged. "What should we do?"

"Well… we could go down the street and steal some lemons from that one kid's lemonade stand…"

"Next."

"… We could eat bugs."

"Ooh, I like that."

"Okay."

So Mello took it upon himself to go over to the hose that was connected to the wall. He aimed it at a large patch of dirt and began to spray it, hoping to uncover some earthworms. Matt stood by idly, watching the ground grow muddy.

"See anything?" Mello called, beginning to shut down the water.

Matt shook his head. "Nope."

"Hmm." Mello came over and they both stared down into the puddle of mud, concentrating. Just then, they heard a sound from the building and saw the door opening, a little ball of white coming out. Near looked up into the sunrays and saw both Matt and Mello staring back at him.

He blushed and turned on his heel quickly.

"Hey!" Matt called to him, standing. "Come back here, Near! What's happening?"

Near sighed, his hand on the door handle. He looked over his shoulder. "I just… I thought I left a toy out here from yesterday. Sorry if I disturbed you."

"… This it?" Mello asked, holding up a muddy action figure.

Near's gray eyes lit up a little and he walked out into the yard, holding his hand out to Mello. "Thank you."

Mello retracted it just before Near could reach. "Hey," he said, grinning in the boy's face. "Let's compete, let's have a competition!"

Near looked around. "Here?"

"Yes."

Near was afraid to ask. "Doing what?"

Mello smiled and motioned towards the large mud puddle. "Mud wrestling!"

Near stared.

"Yeah!" Matt cheered, pumping his fists in the air.

Mello stood back and took off his shirt, pulling it over his head and then casting it aside. He walked around the puddle to the opposite side of Near and looked at him oddly when the boy continued to stand there. "Are you going to wear your clothes, Near? You'll lose for sure."

Near gasped suddenly when Matt came over to him and unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it on top of Mello's and revealing Near's slim chest.

He blushed furiously and hugged his arms together. "Matt!"

"Haha," Matt snickered, "I see nippage. Come on, Near, show Mel what you got," he said, smacking Near on the behind, pushing him into the mud.

Near tripped over a hidden root in the mud and fell on his face, splashing mud everywhere. Matt laughed and Mello rolled his eyes as he pulled up the cuffs of his pants, getting into the mud as well.

"Go ahead and start, Matt," Mello said, bending down and looking at Near as he struggled in the dirt.

"And… begin!"

Mello ignored Near's yelp of fear and jumped on the boy. He felt somewhat like Matt, pinning the half naked boy down into the mud. Naturally, Near thrashed about in Mello's grip and Mello humored him for a bit, involuntarily laughing at the feel of him wiggling around underneath. He finally pinned Near down, pushing all of his weight on Near's chest and wrapping his arms around his torso.

"One," Matt counted. "Two… Three…! Mello, you win!"

Mello laughed, grinning like it was nothing and got off of Near, who lay twitching in the mud.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 4 Near: 5

* * *

A/N: _Wow, thank you guys for all the nice reviews!_


	10. Masochist

Mercy Rule

Tenth Challenge!

* * *

Near had to take a bath after the wrestling tournament had ended. He didn't just have to, actually, he needed to. It was almost obsessive how he was about his cleanliness. So he shuffled away from his two assailants in favor for the bathroom inside and dumped himself in the bath, covering his small form with bubbles for almost an hour.

When he emerged, he shuffled into his room in his towel with the idea that he would change into his pajamas, then play with his puzzles until bedtime. That was the kind of thing he was used to. But no such thing happened because upon opening his bedroom door, he was welcomed by…

"Yo, Near," Matt called, raising a hand in greeting. He was seated on Near's bed, clipping his toenails. Mello was seated on the floor, dumping one of Near's puzzles out of its box.

"What… are you doing?" Near asked, tired with disbelief.

"We came for a visit," Matt said simply.

Mello snapped at him, "This is no damn visit, it's business!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Oh no," Near said sadly. "Not another one."

"Oh _yes_," Mello corrected.

"But I've just washed!" Near protested.

Mello stood up and walked over to Near smugly. "Well, that's tough titties to you then. You knew I'd never give up. The day is still young!"

"Unfortunately."

Mello ignored Near's dour mood and motioned to his cohort. "Matt, let's get this show on the road. Lay down, Near."

"I'll do no such thing."

Mello groaned and lay down on the bare floor himself, his arms crossed under his head. He looked at Near shrewdly. "See? I'm doing it too. Get down here."

Near sighed and looked up at Matt warily as he lay down beside Mello, mimicking his position.

"What now?" he asked.

"Now, it starts. Bring it, Matt!" Mello called, grinning wickedly. Matt came off of the bed and walked over to the two of them with something in his hand - Near at first thought it had been a nail clipper but it appeared to be a pocket knife.

He kneeled down over the two of them and smiled, wielding the knife above Mello's stomach.

"W-What's going on?" Near asked, high-pitched.

"We're going to see who can take the most pain without squealing," Mello said calmly, no, almost excitedly. He watched as Matt lifted his shirt and then, swiftly, drew a line across Mello's bare skin with the tip of the weapon, only breaking the skin and not drawing blood. Mello hissed, grinning.

Near stared at him, appalled.

"Okay, you're turn," Matt said, turning to Near with the knife.

Near gaped soundlessly.

"Don't worry, Near," Mello said, "you'll like it."

"I will not," he said, horrified at the very idea.

"Matt, just do it."

"Right-o. Here, kitty, kitty," he teased and jumped on Near and pushed up his shirt. Near, of course, tried to get away but to no avail. Matt pushed the knife to him and even before it made contact, Near was howling and mewling, trying to claw his way across the floor. Matt sighed, sitting back on Near's side as he inched across the bare floor. "Mel, this is torture even for me."

Mello jerked his head up at Near. "Near, you pussy! Let him cut you!"

Near was too busy fearing for his life to respond.

Mello groaned, his head falling with a thud to the floor. "Okay," he ground out, "challenge is off. He won't let you do it."

Matt nodded and patted Near's worrying head consolingly to which Near took no notice, he only continued to fret.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 4 Near: 5

* * *

A/N: _Haha, a draw! Wow. Hey, go check out the poll on my profile! There, you can tell the world who's side you're on! Thoughts?_


	11. Dance Dance

A/N: _Dude, I've been watching the polls. XD You guys are MEAN to my Near! XP Oh well, I voted for him._

* * *

Mercy Rule

Eleventh Challenge!

* * *

Mello stood up, lowering his shirt as he did so. He glowered over at Matt and Near - Matt who was easing off of Near and allowing him breath and Near curling up in a defensive ball on the floor.

"Jesus, Near!" Mello groaned. "What a pussy you are."

"Simply because I do not take pain as sexual pleasure does not mean I'm a coward," he said, still balled up on the floor.

Mello waved away his comment. "Never fear. Being the genius I am-"

Near coughed.

"-I have brought backup," Mello continued, unfazed. He motioned towards Matt. "We set?"

"Yeah, sure thing," the redhead chirped, going back to Near's bed and fishing underneath it. Near was about to ask what in the world those two had put under his _bed_, for God's sake but Matt them emerged with a boom box, the cord dangling from the back of it.

Near stared as Matt went over to plug it into an electrical socket in the corner of the room. "What… what is that for?" he asked Mello.

"Our next challenge! Dancing!"

"…"

"That's right, Near," Matt said, pulling out a CD and placing it into the slot. "Time to shake what your momma gave ya."

"I do not _want _to shake what my mother gave me. Mello, this is completely inappropriate, I won't do it," Near said, huffing.

"You don't have a choice," Mello said, grinning, his arms folded over his chest as he looked down on Near. He walked over to the boom box and clicked the play button and _Smooth_ by Santana began to pound out of the speakers and filled the room.

Near frowned.

"Okay," Matt declared, plopping down on the bed. "Mel, you're up first!"

Near, sensing this was some force of nature he couldn't stop, sat down beside Matt on his bed and watched Mello as he began to move to the music, his hips like waves on water, rolling in time with the sultry beats. As he shook his pelvis around the room, he languorously removed his black shirt, shaking his hips from side to side harder and whirling the shirt around, landing it on Near's head.

Near peeked from under the clothing and watched as Matt tried to hide the blood shooting from his nose. Near sighed, rolling his eyes lightly as Mello came back over, sweaty and shirtless, snatching his clothing back from Near.

"All right, you, your turn."

"I do not wish-"

"Ah. Thought I heard someone caring. Hm, nope, must've been my imagination. Get out there."

Near got up and went out to the middle of the floor as Mello took his spot on the bed, glancing at Matt who had tissues up to his nose.

The music still continued and Near sighed, looking up in though. He had no clue what he was supposed to do so he mimicked his version of Matt's Victory Over Boss Dance which ended up looking a lot like the cabbage patch.

Mello stared for a second after Near finished and Matt shook his head. "Dude," he said, "that was utter failage."

Near groaned.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 5 Near: 5

* * *

A/N: _I love that song. Review, yeah?_


	12. Breaking Stalemate

Mercy Rule

Twelfth Challenge!

* * *

After much hemming and hawing, Near managed to get the two troublemakers out of his room for the night and demanded not to be bothered for the rest of the night. His defeat in the dancing competition was a result of him not being physically inclined, Near told himself as he readied for bed. He would not be rallied by Mello's gloating of his victory or by Matt's offers to teach Near how to "move it like a pro."

He went to sleep with the scoreboard on his mind.

The next morning was Saturday and that meant a free-for-all in front of the television in the common room. All of the orphans got up early in attempt to fight for their favorite Saturday morning cartoon and usually they only got to watch about a minute of it before the remote was stolen once again.

Near usually took this time of peace to retreat to the playroom and enjoy a few hours of silence with his puzzles and toys. But not today.

He walked timidly into the common room where there was screaming and rolling around in front of the TV, everyone vying for the remote. He came around the side of the couch and saw Mello under some other boy, pulling on the device. He kicked the other boy off and the child went flying into the coffee table. Then Matt jumped on Mello and it started again. Before they could really get going, Near cleared his throat, hovering above the two.

Both boys looked up.

"Oh… oh, hey, Near," Matt greeted, seated on top of the blond.

"Hello, Matt. Mello," Near said, rather light-heartedly.

Mello narrowed one eye at the pale boy. "What're you doing down here?"

"I've come to-"

"WAH!" Mello was attacked by someone else, the young boy sending Matt and Mello flying like bowling pins, and the remote was wrestled away from him. Mello sat up, dazed and upset. "Near, you made me lose it!"

"I'm sorry," he said. "But I came to take you elsewhere anyway."

"… Huh?"

"Please come play with me."

Matt and Mello looked at each other.

"Play _what_?" Mello asked.

"Chess."

"_Chess_?"

"You like it, don't you? It's a game for intellectuals. I figured you might like someone who could play at your level." Near looked at Mello pleasantly as he said this but Mello thought something was up nevertheless.

Matt blinked once and then laughed. "N-Near's challenging you, Mel!"

"Oh, no. Just something to pass the time."

Mello raised an eyebrow. "Not a competition, huh?"

"Not at all."

"… All right. Guess maybe beating your ass at something _you_ consider yourself good at might be fun." Mello stood up, giving Near a smug look. "Lead the way."

"Yes."

Matt stood as well. "I got to see this."

When the three of them came to the deserted playroom, there was a chessboard set up already in the middle of the floor, the pieces neatly aligned. Near came over on the white side and sat down, waiting for Mello to be seated as well.

"Losers first," Mello said, yawning.

Near looked at Mello oddly but moved his first piece nonetheless.

Mello moved then, pushing a pawn forward. Near moved his hand quickly, matching his moves right after Mello's, seeming to not be hesitating. When Mello would sometimes take up to two minutes thinking, trying not to make the wrong move, Near would put his piece right into place and as Mello gave the boy a death-glare, Near simply looked at him placidly.

As the game reached forty minutes, Mello was really starting to sweat. Somehow a friendly game of chess had turned into a life-or-death scenario and Matt wasn't helping.

"Oh! Oh! He's owning you, Mel! What'll you do now? No, don't move that piece! Agh! Idiot! Ooh, okay, slowly… Ah, you're fucked, dude."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" Mello waved his queen threateningly at Matt.

Matt held up his hands. "All right! I just - oh."

"… What?" Mello looked down, watching as Near moved his own queen into position, blocking off all of Mello's king's options.

"Checkmate," Near said.

Mello groaned, fuming. "This is stupid… Ah, fuck it. It doesn't matter. It's not like it was-"

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 5 Near: 6

* * *

"Ah, you _bastard_! You said it wasn't a competition!"

"Did I say that?"

* * *

A/N: _Thanks for reading. Thoughts? The challenges continue…_


	13. Smooth Criminal

A/N: _Now we're rolling!_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Thirteenth Challenge!

* * *

"Laugh while you can, bitch! I'm _going_ to beat you!" Mello declared, standing haughtily on his bare feet.

Near looked up at him. "I wasn't laughing, Mello."

"… O-On the inside," he insisted, huffing. He had been so close to defeating Near but this whole chess thing. It was a trick, a set-up! As he determined this, he pointed at Near fiercely. "Near, I'll get you good!"

Near blinked at him expectantly.

Mello stared back at him, growing madder with every passing second. This lasted for about two minutes until Matt, who was on the sidelines, blurted out, "When're ya'll gonna kiss?"

Near snorted delicately and looked away as Mello soundly cussed Matt out.

When that was done, Mello grabbed Near by the hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Mello-"

"Shut your mouth! You're coming with me," he declared, clearly enraged. He jerked on Near's arm and pulled him out of the playroom and into the hallway, Matt following them idly.

They were lead into the common room which had an archway into the kitchen. Normally the orphans weren't allowed in there for snacks or else they would always be out of food but Mello often went in for chocolate. There was a fat cook inside at the stove, hovering over the hot range, probably making lunch. Mello, Near and Matt poked there heads over the side of the jamb, little tufts of blond, white and red hair showing faintly.

"What're we doing here, Mello?" Near whispered.

Matt grinned. "Aw, fuck yeah, go molest the cook!"

Both Mello and Near looked at him.

"Man," Mello said, turning back around, "you've got serious problems…"

"Well, maybe," Matt said.

"Now, listen here," Mello instructed Near, "we're going to try and steal something out of the fridge without alerting that lady. Understand?"

"We can't _steal_, that's-"

"Stop being a numb-nuts! Let's go," he said and with that, stepped out onto the linoleum floor. He watched carefully as the big woman hustled about and kept her back turned to him. Near sighed and followed Mello out onto the linoleum, not having to tiptoe as he was a quiet walker by nature.

Matt watched as Mello made it to the fridge first and was pulling on the handle, continuously looking up to see if the woman had noticed his presence. The handle seemed to be giving him trouble and he was cussing silently with Near still walking slowly to the refrigerator.

Mello pulled harder. "Grr, what the fucking hell…"

"Hey, young man!"

Mello looked up and cringed.

The large woman had been staring at him for a moment and then reached down and picked Mello up by the skin on the back of his neck like a kitten. She glared at him. "You know you children aren't supposed to be in here."

Near, who had been waiting by the kitchen table, saw that Mello was distracting the woman and took this opportunity to go over to the fridge, nudge it open where Mello had loosened it and take an apple from inside.

He walked away, lightly crunching on it and Mello saw this. "AH FUCK THAT, NEAR, YOU LITTLE BITCH, THAT'S NOT FAIR-"

The woman gasped at the boy's exciting vocabulary and stepped backwards, knocking into the big pot on the stove. It fell, splashing out hot spaghetti sauce all over the floor and the woman's ankles. She screamed, dropping Mello, who fell on top of the passing Near and they both tumbled into the boiling hot sauce.

Matt, who had watched the catastrophe, was wondering what spaghetti-sauce-encrusted Near tasted like. He figured as a detective in-training, he best go investigate.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 5 Near: 7

* * *

A/N: _Thoughts?_


	14. Drift

A/N: _Dude, while writing this, I was listening to "Be A Man" from Mulan. Gleam from that what you may._

* * *

Mercy Rule

Fourteenth Challenge!

* * *

"M-Matt!"

"Mmm…"

"Matt!"

"Mmm - what is it? Yo, Mel, you know where the breadsticks are?"

"Dude, you're a freak."

"Why, because I like fine dining?"

"Get off of me!"

"What's wrong, Near?"

"Matt, that's gross."

"No, it's not. Here, you can have the left side."

"No _thanks_!"

"Stop offering me to Mello like a piece of meat!"

Currently, the three boys were sitting in the center of a large spillage of spaghetti sauce which had, since its toppling, cooled down. Mello was fuming and sending angry glares to Near, who was much too busy fighting Matt off to notice. Matt had come over, plopped himself down and busily began licking Near's head as the cook lay in a lump on the side of the mess, having slipped in the sauce.

This was what Rodger walked in on.

"Oh, Maria, about lunch, I - Good Lord on a plaid donkey! Near - Matt - Mello, what have you _done_?"

The boys looked up, blinking.

"W-We were just…" Mello tried to think of a suitable excuse but nothing came to mind and Rodger strode over to them in a flash, picking Matt up by the back of his neck and shaking him fiercely, knocking his goggles askew.

"What have I told you about licking strange things?" he asked sternly.

Near took slight offence.

While Rodger was reprimanding Matt, Mello tugged on Near's sleeve, pulling the boy's eyes to his.

"Let's go - first one to me and Matt's room wins."

"Mello, this is hardly the time-"

"It'll get us away from Rodger!" Mello stood up and tried to race off, took a step, then slipped in the sauce and fell on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck sorely and stood up again, taking a few tender steps and then scuttling out of the kitchen. He yelled, "Get your fat ass up and run!"

Near sighed and crawled out of the mess, running as he left the kitchen. He saw Mello down the hallway and shouted to him, "Mello, I'm not so good at running!"

"Really?" the blond called back. "Never could've guessed!"

Near shut his eyes and pumped his tiny arms up and down as fast as he could, which wasn't all that fast. He caught up to Mello, though, as the blond had slowed down.

"M-Mello-"

"Hey, Near!" Mello said cheerfully, running in time with the boy. "How're you holdin' up?"

"N-N-Need… apple juice…"

"Got something to show ya."

Near looked up, weary. "What?"

Mello zoomed ahead. "My ass!"

Meanwhile, Matt had gotten a ten minute sermon by Rodger on the importance of letting Near have his innocence for as long as possible as the real world is a hard, cold place where everything innocent and beautiful wilts and dies within moments. Matt didn't understand what that was supposed to mean but he pretended to. When Rodger was ready to lecture Mello, he looked up and saw sauce-covered footprints all over the linoleum and out on the carpet.

As Rodger began to yell and wave his cane around, Matt took this chance to sneak away.

When Near finally reached Mello and Matt's bedroom door, he was all but out of breath. He came crawling to the door handle as Mello stood idly by, watching and Matt walked up behind him.

Matt looked at Near and then at Mello. "Did you guys compete again?"

"S'yeah," Mello said, smugly, "and I kicked cotton-ball _ass_."

"That's cool. Near, you all right?"

Near collapsed into a small heap.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 6 Near: 7

* * *

A/N: _Any thoughts?_


	15. Mario Kart 64

A/N: _XD I found that if I go a day without updating this, I get PMs begging me to. Wow, people. You guys are cute. XD_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Fifteenth Challenge!

* * *

After having to haul Near into the room, Matt volunteered to go down and get the little guy something to hydrate himself. As it turned out, Matt was a much better thief than either Mello or Near as he didn't get caught even with Rodger and Maria cleaning up their mess. He returned and the three of them were currently in Matt and Mello's room, the two boys on the floor playing Nintendo and Near sitting up on Matt's bed, sipping his juice box contentedly.

"Mello, you _suck_," Matt drawled, pressing buttons like lightning. "How come you don't get any better, dude?"

"I do! You just practice more!" Mello shouted, though there was really no need.

Their little go-karts on the screen raced in time with each other, Matt's pulling into the lead. As they came around the corner, Matt began to drift and Mello ran straight into the wall.

Matt went through the finish line and the music started.

Mello huffed, throwing the controller down.

Matt blinked at him. "Maybe if you started pressing R before you got to the jump, you'd make it. Because, really, starting at the jump without having it going through turbo is just-"

"I don't need a lecture!"

"I'm not lecturing you, Mel, I'm helping!"

"Helping my ass. Near," Mello called, tilting his head backwards, able to view the pajama-clad boy on the edge of the bed.

Sip, sip. "Yes, Mello."

"You like games, don'tcha?"

"Yes, they are enjoyable." Sip.

"Come down here and kick Matt's pompous ass."

Siiiiiiip. "Why?"

"B-Because!" Mello narrowed his eyes at the redhead. "He thinks he's the greatest thing ever!"

Matt laughed, holding his hands up. "Wait, wait, you want _Near and me_ to compete?"

"I want Near to kick your ass is what I want," Mello shouted. "Near, get down here!"

Near sighed solemnly and put his empty juice box on the floor and slid down himself, sitting betwixt Matt and Mello. Mello shoved the controller into Near's stomach and then crossed his arms. He grinned over Near's fluffy head at Matt. "Prepare to get your ass kicked, Game King!"

"Pah," Matt grinned, turning to the TV, his grip tightening on his controller.

Matt shifted through the course selections and decided on Rainbow Road, the hardest one. Matt chose Luigi and Near chose Toad.

The screen came up in prepare for the countdown.

Mello swallowed heavily and set a hand atop Near's head. "Be ready!"

"Yes, Mello."

1...

2...

GO!

Matt surged forward with the turbo boost as did Near and they rocketed out front, taking an early lead. Each kart was going back and forth, vying for the number one place. Matt ran into one of the item blocks and obtained a Koopa shell, launching it backwards at Near, who dodged and rammed into Matt.

Mello was up on his feet, screaming, "Go! Go! You got it, Near! Kick his furry, red ass!"

"Mello, you dork, don't say that out loud!"

Near frowned at the images he was receiving and veered off-course. He ran into a ditch and Matt flew through the finish line, throwing the controller down and jumping up.

"AND WHAT? AND _WHAT_? WORD TO YOUR MOMMA!"

Mello sank down, groaning. "Near, you idiot!"

Near yawned.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 6 Near: 7 (Matt: 1)

* * *

A/N: _XD No, he's not joining the competition. He just kicked major ass._


	16. Shadows

A/N: _Sorry for the wait, guys! - dances to Hare Hare Yukai -_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Sixteenth Challenge!

* * *

Matt and Mello were gearing up for yet another round of videogames. Matt was searching through his vast catalogue as Mello sat next to Near and showed him techniques on drifting.

"Mel, dude, you're the last person who should be showing Near how to drift."

"Shut the fuck up," Mello said and returned to Near.

Then, as Mello was holding the controller and zooming through the Bowser's Castle course, the television and the N64 shut off altogether. Mello blinked and then looked at Matt rummaging by the TV.

"Hey, did you pull a plug or something?" Mello asked.

Matt sat up. "No. Why-"

Then, the light in the room shut off and the three boys were sitting in the dark, blinking.

"All right, Matt, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Must be a ghost then.

"A ghost? Honestly, Mello. The power must be out."

"You and your _logic_."

"Perhaps you could use some."

The door to their room opened and there was darkness in the hallway and a bouncing candlelight in midair. Matt let out a bellow of fear and hid behind Mello while Near shifted a little closer to the blond as well. Mello glared at the two figures. "Oh, I lack logic but your asses are cowering behind me? Bullshit."

"Mello, language," came Rodger's voice from the candlelight. "I simply have come to inform you that the power has gone out… It'll be back on in the morning. I seem to have forgotten to pay the electric bill."

Mello snorted, "Cheapass."

Whack.

"How the hell did you find me in the dark?" Mello wailed.

Rodger huffed indignantly and went back to the door. As he closed it, he said, "Behave yourselves until morning. And no molesting Near."

Matt grinned. "Not making promises."

Near scooted closer to Mello.

Mello shoved him and Rodger closed the door, leaving the three alone again. Matt sighed and got up, feeling his way around the room. "Well," he said, bumping into things, "I'm not going to sit here like a bump on the log. Mel, you know where the flashlight is?"

"Under my bed."

Near looked at Mello. "Why do you keep a flashlight?"

"For crisis, idiot."

"Crisis…?"

"Here we go!" Matt declared and there was suddenly a bright light flashing in both Near and Mello's faces. Mello squinted, pushing his hands up to shield his eyes and Near fell back and squirmed like a turtle.

Mello stood up and fought the light on his way to Matt, wrestling the device away from him, shouting that he didn't know how to use it. Mello was finally victorious and shone it at the wall, making a huge circle of yellowish light.

Near finally stood up, over his shock of being blinded, and walked over to the wall where Mello and Matt were sitting, the flashlight held tightly between Mello's toes. The two boys were obviously not liking the power being out but they were pretty creative and, in his boredom, Mello stuck out his hand in front of the light and made a puppy with his hand.

Matt rolled his eyes. "That's so dull, Mel."

"What's wrong with dogs? Dog-hater," Mello snapped, making his dog's ears wiggle.

Near smiled a little and put his hand next to Mello's, making an elephant which was harassing the dog.

Mello laughed. "Do a sheep!"

Near looked at him oddly and then did one.

Mello elbowed Matt who was giggling. "Look, it's Near!"

Mello turned his dog into a bird and pecked at the sheep.

Near got annoyed and turned the sheep into a big gorilla and tore Mello's bird apart.

Mello growled and turned into a human with a gun and shot the gorilla.

Near's dead gorilla turned into the Eiffel Tower and smashed the human.

Mello fumed and Matt was on the floor, in tears of laughter.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 6 Near: 8

* * *

A/N: _XD Well, review so I can write the next chapter because that one's going to be fun for me. _


	17. Impressions

Mercy Rule

Seventeenth Challenge!

* * *

The next morning, as promised, the electricity was on once again in Wammy's House. The night before, after the war of the shadow puppets had commenced, the boys all fell asleep without warning and Near ended up spending the night with them, though he had no intention of doing so. And it was quite the surprise for Mello when the young blond woke up on the floor with something rather heavy on his chest.

"Mmm," Mello hummed, opening his eyes blearily. "Matt, get your foot off of me…"

Matt, who had fallen asleep sitting up against the wall, sighed, still half asleep, "My feet ain't on ya, Mel…"

"Liar…" Mello opened his eyes fully and looked down, finding Near curled up next to him with his fluffy, white head on his chest, sleeping soundly. Mello gasped soundlessly when he noticed that one of Near's small hands were fisting the front of Mello's shirt as if he were clinging on for dear life.

Near stirred when he felt Mello's torso rise and he looked up at the blond, rubbing at his eye slowly. "Hello, Mello…"

"H-Hey!" Mello shouted, having finally found his voice. "You idiot, I'm not your pillow! Get off me!" And with that, he threw the boy off, rolling over.

Near went flying and rolled onto Matt, who was already half awake at Mello's screaming. He blinked, looking down at the pale boy sitting on his lap. "G'morning!" he said cheerfully.

"Hello, Matt," Near said, still confused at what had happened.

"Jesus, Near," Mello grumbled, wiping at his shirt. "Did you drool?"

"I'm sorry, Mello," he yawned cutely, stretching out on Matt's lap which Matt thought was a great thing to wake up to. Near stood up and looked over at him. "But you need not react, I was only sleeping."

"On me."

"Have you never done that?"

"Well… well, hell, I dunno!" Mello snorted. "I don't keep record!"

Matt grinned at him. "Aha, sure you have, Mel. I remember just last month, right?"

"Matt."

"You came in my bed because it was thundering outside," Matt recalled. "And you fell asleep all curled up next to me too, like a little cat. You can be pretty darn cute, you know."

"Shut it!" Mello snapped, clearly embarrassed. He stood up and raked a hand through his mussed hair. "Besides, it's just so weird for Near to be doing it. Usually he's all 'don't touch me!' and antisocial and shit."

Near frowned. "I would say it was most uncharacteristic of you, Mello. You seem to be very afraid of human contact."

"Not human contact, just you and your creepiness!"

Near huffed slightly and flipped his hair in a strangely Mello-ish manner. He looked at the blond with a somewhat devilish smirk and said petulantly, "Rodger, stop hitting me. Matt, shut up. Near, you idiot."

Matt laughed and Mello shouted, "Matt, shut – Grr..." Mello sneered at the pale boy and then loosened his features and let the fire drain from his eyes. He said, "Mello, please be reasonable. Can't we just sit down and play chess and you can watch as I cheat my way to victory?"

Near frowned and walked up to Mello, swishing his hips in a feminine manner. "Fuck this," he said, "I'll just challenge Near to something absurd like a farting competition and then I can feel better about myself."

"Oh, I so wish that L would screw me like he does Mello. I'm much too ugly to ever get any."

"It's a goddamn shame I'm wrapped too deep in my delusions of a married life with L to ever become a proper successor. How fucking terrible."

Mello curled a lock of hair around his finger. "Seeing as how I only think in equations and deductions, I can never love or be loved by L and am only suitable as Matt's object of lust. Woe is me and my all-white emoness. Perhaps if I got a tan that burned my skin, I'd be a suitable lobster dinner for Mello."

Near was about to say something but Matt interrupted. "Goddamn," he said, in awe, looking at the two of them. "I don't know who's hotter…"

Near groaned and Mello grinned.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 7 Near: 8

* * *

A/N: _XD Actually, that wasn't the chapter I was waiting for. It'll be the next one. XD_


	18. If You Like Pina Coladas

Mercy Rule

Eighteenth Challenge!

* * *

After Near and Mello's little tiff, the two of them broke it for a bit in order for Near who was obsessive about cleanliness, to shower and brush his teeth. When he finally came out of the bathroom, his pajamas clinging to his skin and his white hair damp, he was surprised to see both Matt and Mello sitting outside the door with their backs to the wall, talking.

"What are you two doing here?" Near asked, blinking.

Matt smiled at him and stood. "Waiting for you!"

Mello stood as well. "Yeah, and you take damn near _forever_! Let's go."

Near nodded faintly and watched as Mello walked down the hall with that slightly feminine swing of the hips that Near had earlier mimicked. Matt was walking next to him and Near shuffled to keep up, completely surprised that they had – though Mello would never admit it – wanted his company.

Since it was a Sunday afternoon, the orphanage was mostly quiet and most of the kids were lying around lethargically taking naps. But, as Mello always said, rest was for losers.

The little trio were on their way to the common room to stir up trouble, although Near had not been aware of this, but on the way, the door to Rodger's office was open. Mello tilted his head to the side and studied this rare phenomenon.

"Dude, where's he at?" Matt asked, walking in.

"Jerkin' off somewhere," Mello said casually.

Near frowned. "Mello, that's truly disgusting."

"Hell, tell Rodger, I'm not the one doing it!"

Near tiptoed in after the toe as they looked around the room. "Come on, now. We shouldn't be in here."

"Near, rule number one," Matt said, "shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't isn't in our vocabulary. Got the word?"

Near sighed. "I got it."

"Good… HEY! Look, Mel! Liquid gold!"

Mello looked up from his spot by Rodger's desk and saw Matt underneath the bookcase with a bottle of vodka. Mello's eyes lit up at it and Near just frowned deeper at all the mayhem that one bottle could cause.

"Nice," Mello said as came over and held it, noting that there wasn't much gone. "Heh, Rodger's such a prude. Hey, Near, let's drink this!"

"Mello, I don't think-"

"Sure you do!" He took the cap off and chugged a few gulps much to Near's disgust and Matt's approval. Mello sighed, taking his mouth off of it and stopped for a second, eyes rolling upward in thought. He then looked back at Near with a small smirk on his lips. "Hey, I got a really good idea. Hey, Matt…" Mello proceeded to whisper into Matt's ear and as he did, Matt grew a smirk too.

"Yeah, okay… Hey, Near, we'll be right back. Stay here, all right?" he said as they left the room, leaving the bottle on the floor.

Near sighed and sat down, figuring he might as well be patient.

When the two returned, Matt had some limes in his arms and Mello carried a few packets of sugar. They'd obviously gone to the kitchen but for what reason, Near still didn't know.

"Here's the deal, kid," Mello said, ripping open one packet while Matt used his pocket knife to cut open a lime. "We're going to do body shots."

"… Body shots?" Near asked.

"Yeah, I had a feeling you wouldn't know what in hell it was. Never fear." Mello grinned. "I'm here."

"Joy," Near murmured.

"Just pay attention to what I do to you and then it'll be your turn," Mello said casually, coming over to Near. He came down on his knees in front of the boy and leaned into him, licking the side of his neck and making it moist. Near yipped loudly and tried to get away but felt Matt's hands on his shoulder behind him, holding him in place.

Mello laughed and took a packet of sugar. "Near, you're going to lose at this rate. Here's the competition, you can't make a sound. No yells, no moaning. If you make it out all right, then it's your turn and I'll try not to make a sound."

Near looked at him defiantly but said nothing even as Mello poured the sugar over the wet spot he'd made on Near's neck.

Near felt something pushing past his lips and the taste told him it was a slice of lime. Mello encouraged him to bite into it and the sour taste consumed Near's taste buds and he scrunched his face up at it and he was suddenly distracted by Mello's tongue on his neck, lapping up the sugar, sucking harshly so as to not leave any on Near's body.

Mello turned his head and took the vodka bottle, chugging some more, and color rushed to his cheeks. He went back to Near and came in close, biting into the other side of the lime. Their lips, for an instant, brushed against each other.

Near tensed and Mello felt it, smirking into his neck and running his fingers lightly up Near's chest to his jawbone, giving himself better access to the lime. He took it from Near's mouth and the sourness mixed in his mouth with the sugar and the vodka. He cringed at the foreign taste and as he did so, slipped while hovering over Near and his hand pushed down on Near's inner thigh, eliciting a small gasp from the pale boy followed by a moan.

Mello grinned widely, his eyes half-lidded and he pulled back just enough for Near to see it.

"I win."

Near just stared and Matt, who had been watching with the greatest of interest, took a swig of the drink and said, sighing, "God_damn_, you guys are better than porn…"

"Matt, you idiot, you enojyed that!"

"Pfft, I'm not gonna lie."

Then, there was a noise at the door and all three looked over in time to see the familiar old man walking into his office.

There was a pause.

"MELLO!"

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 8 Near: 8

* * *

A/N: _XD Yay. Okay, that's how I learned body shots, maybe your way is different. Thoughts?_


	19. Butt Naked

A/N: _BUTT NAKED! … Forgive me. XD Kelpy will get the reference. _

* * *

Mercy Rule

Nineteenth Challenge!

* * *

For the first time since Mello began challenging Near to various competitions, Near felt (somewhere deep deep inside himself) quite pissed off that someone had walked in on the madness. He peeked up, hazy-eyed, over Mello's shoulder and saw Rodger standing in the doorway, his jawed hanging like a squeaky hinge. Mello eased off of Near, his hand coming away from the boy's crotch and he grinned drunkishly at Rodger.

"Hey there, old-timer!" Mello waved. "What's crackin'?"

Matt giggled and fell back onto the carpet, simultaneously knocking over the bottle of vodka.

Rodger gaped. "You two have been drinking! Why, this… this is…"

"Calm down, please, Rodger," said L, coming from behind the older man. He stood there with his hands shoved down deep into his jean pockets and surveyed the scene of Matt on the floor laughing at nothing and Near beneath Mello, having apparently been freshly molested. Mello was looking at L then with a cross between a grin and a smile.

"Calm down? Calm DOWN?" Rodger shouted, obviously not calm at all. "This is serious, L!"

"They are young boys, merely interested in what they see adults doing." L stepped forward and sent a mild glare over towards Rodger. "_You _should not have left it in such a place where they could reach."

Rodger stared. "But…"

L bent down and picked Near up, setting him upright on his feet. "You seem to be all right, Near."

Near blushed a little. "I have not had anything to drink."

"That's what I expect," he said, smiling down at him.

Matt and Mello stood up on their own, though a bit wobbly, and made their way over to L, asking what he was doing here, to which the older man said he simply came for a surprise visit. Rodger frowned deeply at the four of them and as L passed by the older man with the three successors in tow, Rodger shouted, "There has to be punishment, L!"

"I will be taking care of that," L said casually as he led the boys down the hallway.

The four of them could hear Rodger's frustrated cries even after they rounded the corner.

"What will be our punishment?" Near asked, looking up as he walked along side the man.

"Yeah," Matt interjected, "you gonna spank us?"

Mello looked at him. "You perv."

"Don't see you hating the idea, Mel."

L laughed a little under his breath. "No," he said and opened the door to a room that was usually vacant. "There will be no spanking. Here, this is where I'm staying for a while, everyone inside. Honestly, can you three not be left alone? What were you even doing?"

"Body shots," Matt said, coming in and jumping up on the large bed in the corner of the room.

L sent a look towards Mello and the blond just smiled back, rocking back and forth on his toes. "Hi, L," he said happily.

L pressed his lips tightly together. "Mello, your sexual tendencies are becoming a problem."

"Nuh uh!"

L ignored him. "I want you three to get some rest. Once you wake up, you'll probably have a pounding headache but it's the best way to get out of your drunk stupor." L turned on his heel and went for the open bathroom door connected to the room. "I'm taking a shower now, I'll be out in a bit." The door closed.

Matt, who was already in L's bed, snuggled up to one of the pillows. He was suddenly very tired and, admittedly, so was Near but he did not want to sleep next to Matt only because he was worried Matt might wake up in his normal state of sexual desire. So he sat down on the floor by Mello's feet and looked around.

"Hey!" Mello called towards Matt's form on the bed. "Wake up! Don't go to sleep!"

"Ah, shut up, Mel… stop makin' so much racket…"

"You douche, we're in L's fucking room and you wanna sleep! L's naked nakedidity is showering ten feet away from you!"

"Yeah, behind a closed door."

"You're not fun!"

"You're not quiet." There was a pause and then snoring sounds.

"Ah, what the…" Mello's gaze lowered to Near sitting quietly on the floor and he suddenly grinned. "Hey, Near, you look like someone who knows a good time when he sees it. Up for the most awesome thing in the history of forever?"

Near looked up at Mello, frowning. "I do not wish to compete with you, Mello."

"We'll be on the same team, just once," he said and held out his hand.

For whatever reason, Near sort of liked the way Mello said that, or maybe it was just the idea of them working together. He sighed and took Mello's hand, standing up with him, not even catching his footing before Mello dragged him over to the other side of the room at the bathroom door. Mello pushed on the door lightly and was delighted to find that it wasn't locked.

"All right, here's the deal," Mello whispered to the pale boy beside him. "We're competing against L now in order to get his clothes and the towel. That way, when he's done showering, he'll _have_ to come out naked to get some other clothes. Get it?"

"… What in the world-"

"Don't be so high and mighty, you know you wanna see too!"

"That's not-"

"All right, you go in first. I'll go in after you to get whatever you left."

"Why do _I _have to go first?" Near whispered harshly as he was being pushed into the steamy bathroom. He sighed and as he was already there, he figured he might as well do what he was pushed into doing. He walked in further, the sound of the water hitting the porcelain of the tub behind the curtain surrounding him. The closed curtain was about three feet in front of him as he reached the toilet which was covered in L's shirt, pants and boxers.

Near looked at L's shadow on the curtain cautiously before taking hold of the jeans and pulling.

The other clothes dropped onto the floor and Near looked at them, blinking.

"Hurry it _up_, Near," Mello urged from behind the door.

Near turned around. "You're my _partner_, so help me if you are so anxious."

Mello rolled his eyes and came into the bathroom. "You're so weak," he mumbled, picking the shirt and boxers up. "Great, now let's get the-"

"What are you doing now?"

Mello and Near looked up at the voice and their squeaks barely audibly as L stood there out of the shower, water dripping down his well-toned form and his bare skin glistening with it.

Near blushed furiously and turned his head away while Mello stared in utter awe like he was seeing _the_ Virgin Mary.

L sighed, running a hand through his hair.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 9 Near: 9

* * *

A/N: _XD The magic of teamwork. Review, yeah?_


	20. Fine Dining

Mercy Rule

Twentieth Challenge!

* * *

"What's going on - Holy shit."

Both Mello and Near turned around to expectantly see Matt standing in the doorway, his goggles askew from sleep. He stared wide-eyed at L and Mello grinned back at him, pointing to the young man standing in front of them.

"See that, Matt? Yeah. I did that. Fuckin' awesome, yeah?"

"Yeah," Matt drawled, staring as Mello had just a moment ago.

L groaned and reached down for the towel that Mello had not managed to steal. He wrapped it securely around his waist and walked out of the bathroom, simultaneously shooing the three out ahead of him. "If you three cannot behave in here, you will have to leave," he said, opening the door.

"Aw, no, L!" Mello and Matt cried simultaneously.

"Oh, yes."

Matt covered his goggles with his small hands as he was being pushed out. "I won't look anymore, all right? How's that? I'll shut my eyes!"

"I can see you peeking even now, Matt."

"Can you blame me?"

"Yes." L closed the door behind them right after he popped Near out as well. He said from behind the door, "You will see me again later, but go play downstairs for now."

Mello moaned. "Aw, _fine_…" he huffed.

There was no response.

The three of them sat out in the hallway in silence for a few minutes before Matt turned to Mello and said flatly, "Let's talk stats. How long?"

"Eight and a half."

"Thickness?"

"About an inch and three quarters."

"Dude, that's hardcore."

"S'_yeah_."

Matt laughed. "What're you so proud about?"

Mello just grinned.

Near rolled his eyes at the two and turned away, his face as red as a cherry.

A few hours later, the boys were down in the dining room after the dinner bell had sounded. Near had sat down at his usual table in the back of the room and when Matt and Mello had their food, they came over to sit on either side of the boy.

Near looked at them curiously. "Since… since when do you two sit here on a normal basis?"

Mello rolled his eyes. "We've sat with you before."

"Yes, but-"

"What's it, Near?" Matt laughed, slapping the boy forcefully on the back. "You don't care to sit next to your friends?"

Near blinked at him and Mello and then down at his food, thinking a bit to hard on something that was so simple. _Friends, huh…_

"Hey, hey," Mello said, tapping the boy on the head. "Time for the infamous eating competition!"

"Eating?"

"Speed-eating!" Mello leaned back and picked up his fork, staring down at his plate like he was about to do something strenuous.

Near sighed, picking up his fork as well.

Matt raised his hand. "Ready? Begin!"

Mello dived into his plate and shoveled the food into his mouth, mountains on each forkful. He was going at a lightning pace and looked up just over the flying bits to see Near raising his fork to his mouth, taking a bit and chewing languorously. Mello lifted up from the plate with a confused and frustrated expression.

"Come _on_! What're you eating like that for? You look like a manatee!"

Near looked at him mildly, closed his eyes and swallowed. "You should chew your food thoroughly, you know."

Mello frowned and continued eating with even more vigor. "Aw, whatta _you_ know!"

When Mello tried to eat all of his broccoli in a large gulp, it got stuck in his windpipe and he fell to the floor, blue in the face.

Matt gasped and Near continued to eat, finishing in ten minutes as Mello lay on the carpet, retching.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 9 Near: 10

* * *

A/N: _XD Yeah, Compy, that other one is coming up NEXT. Had to get this one out of the way. Review, yeah?_


	21. Call of the Wild

A/N: _For details on my update schedule, go to my profile! (AND I just got back from an anime con.)_

* * *

Mercy Rule

Twenty-first Challenge!

* * *

After dinner, Mello was just fine. He claimed that he was a fighter and that no asphyxiation would keep him down. Near hadn't been worried at all, knowing that if nothing else, Mello's stubbornness would carry him through whatever problems he had.

Mello stretched his arms over his head as he hopped out of his seat and stood by the table as the other orphans got out of their seats and pushed in their chairs.

"Are you all right now?" Matt asked, standing next to the blond.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Mello looked up at Near who was easing his way down. He squinted a glare at him. "Near, you dirty cheater."

Near looked up. "How is it cheating when I have common sense?"

Mello was about to say something but was interrupted by Matt's yawning loudly in his ear.

"Agh!" Mello winced violently, turning around. "I told you to quit that!" he shouted.

"Mmm, sorry, Mel…" Matt scratched his side. "It's just eating makes you so sleepy…"

"You should probably exercise more," Near said.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Near sighed.

"Well… I guess there's something to be said about that," Mello hummed and turned to see the rest of the kids sluggishly heading for the common room. They seemed about ready to pass out right on the carpet, their little bellies full of institution-food. Mello's blue eyes followed them for a moment and then he turned back to Matt and Near who were debating how pushing A and B on DS was not cardiovascular exercise.

"It's not healthy," Near stated.

Matt shrugged. "But I've got strong hands!"

"What good will that do?"

Matt grinned, wiggling his eyebrows and Near turned away, blushing.

"Hey, hey," Mello said loudly, placing a hand on Near's shoulder. "You're so pro-PE, let's have a competition."

"What kind…?"

Mello smirked, pointing towards their fellow orphans. "How about some hunting?"

Near blinked and then frowned. "You're horrible - I won't be killing any animals for your amusement."

"Who said anything about killing? This is live-capture, buckaroo. And this isn't the cuddly kind of squirrels you're thinking of… I mean the ever-elusive human being!" He held out his hand to the kids with a flourish and Matt looked over his shoulder, laughing.

"Dude, that's awesome!" Matt cheered. "Where do you get such cool ideas?"

"Well, I do my best thinking when I'm almost dead. C'mon, Near," Mello said, pushing a struggling and protesting Near ahead of him.

"Mello, this is _ridiculous_," Near whispered as they entered the hallway past the common room. Some of the children had entered the room and sat in front of the television but others went to the threshold of the hallways, probably to go to their rooms and go to bed early. Mello stopped when they were just inside the hallway and saw a few kids walking away.

"You go down there," Mello said to Near. "I'll go scout the common room. Whoever bags the biggest one wins."

"Mello, this is inhumane. These aren't hogs-"

"From the way they ate, they might as well be. Shoo."

Mello turned on his heel with Matt following him back into the common room. They crawled up behind the couch and their noses suck out over the edge.

"What's the plan, Cap'n?" Matt asked.

"Hmmm." Mello looked around and then his gaze settled on a fat boy sitting on one of the couch cushions, absorbing the radiation from the TV. Mello nodded towards him. "That's the one. What's the word?"

Matt adjusted his goggles. "I'd say about a hundred and thirty-five."

"That'll work. Strip."

"Yup."

The two of them took off their shirts and then Mello stood to where his head was juts over the top of the couch. The fat boy below him looked up leisurely and upon seeing Mello's menacing mug, he screamed, but was cut off by Mello's arms over his face. The blond dragged him over the top of the couch and he fell with a thud to which the other orphans looked around, mystified by the sound.

Matt and Mello tied their shirts around the boy's body, restraining his arms and legs and, as a final precaution, Matt stuffed his dirty sock into their catch's mouth and the young boy's eyes watered at the foul smell.

They dragged him into the hallway, hoping to find Near and finally did, about twenty feet away, breathing labouredly as he lay beneath a large boy who was seated on his back.

Near spotted the redhead and blond at the end of the hallway. He held out a shaky hand. "M-Mello…"

As Mello busted out into uncontrollable laughter, Matt nodded sagely. "Ah. The beast has gotten the best of man," he said.

* * *

Scoreboard:

Mello: 10 Near: 10

* * *

A/N: _I know you have thoughts! Care to share?_


	22. Silence of the Lambs

Mercy Rule

Twenty-second Challenge!

* * *

Mello laughed even as he kicked the fat kid off of Near and jerked the small boy up by the wrist.

"It's not funny, Mello," Near said, dusting himself off. "Your ideas have fast become dangerous to my health. I won't let you decide competitions anymore."

"Aw, you spoil-sport!"

"_Spoil_-sport?"

"Near, Mello, Matt," said a voice.

All three of the boys looked up at hearing L's voice and saw the man standing hunched over them all, his hands shoved deep into his jean pockets. Mello beamed up at his mentor and ran back a few steps, grabbing his catch by the foot. He lifted up his leg and waved it wildly over his head.

"Look, L! I bagged a whopper! Just won another challenge, yes'm." Mello looked back at his 'whopper' proudly, wrapped in his and Matt's shirts as he lay there cocooned in agony and humiliation.

L groaned and walked over, taking the foot of the fat boy from Mello and gently freeing him. "Go on, now," L said and the boy didn't need him to say it twice as he scampered away. Matt had been idly watching as the other large boy who had pinned Near down was walking in the opposite direction which, L guessed, was the direction he had probably been heading in before Near had tried to accost him.

"Now, listen here, you two," L said, looking at them. "What you do amongst yourselves is your own business but do not bring others into your escapades."

"They weren't hurt, L," Mello insisted.

"I was," Near mumbled.

Matt, who had sidled himself up next to Near, put his arm around the boy's shoulders and gave him a sorry look. "Were you hurt, Near?" he asked and Near was taken aback by it just because he sounded sincerely worried.

"Mm… well… my back hurts a little but…"

"Ah, okay," Matt said and walked behind Near, moving his hand lower and massaging the boy's lower back. Near squealed but Matt held him still and forced the massage on him.

"Matt…" L muttered, eyebrow raised as he watched Near squirm and whine.

Mello watched the two of them with irritation. "Matt, you're going to be a pervert on the internet watching porn all the time if you keep that shit up!"

"Too late, Mel," Matt said and continued.

"Matt, enough is enough," L said and picked Near up under the arms, holding him in a toddler-like fashion on his hip. Near seemed quite comfortable and Mello immediately started whining.

"Hey! What's so special about him, huh?"

L mentally rolled his eyes. Sometimes it amazed him that these were the kids he had to choose from for his successor. Though, without qualm, L bent down again and picked Mello up in the other arm.

L looked shrewdly at Mello's grinning expression. "Satisfied?"

"Pretty much." He looked over at Near just a few inches away and grinned wider. "I'll be happier when I am finally determined the winner, though. Near, it's a tie-breaker now! The winner shall be decided, I say!"

"Mel, quit talking like you're a knight," Matt yawned.

"Wha-? Matt-" L asked, confused as he felt the small redhead climb on his back. Matt's arms encircled L's neck and his head popped out on Near's side of his chest. Matt kicked L in the sides and raised a hand to the ceiling. "Hi-ho, Silver! Away!" he cried.

L shook his head and walked upstairs.

When they arrived in L's room, L shut the door behind them and let the boys back onto the floor. On the way up the stairs, Mello had been pinching at Near and teasing him and L noticed that for some reason Near didn't resist it as much as he could. He didn't even seem to mind when Matt made obscene comments, however watered-down they might have been because of L's presence.

"You ready for the final challenge?" Mello asked Near, pumped beyond all reason.

Near frowned. "I suppose…"

"What's it gonna be, dude?" Matt asked.

"Hmm… I'm not even-"

"Wait just a moment," Near interjected, raising a hand, "You've been choosing these challenges from the get-go, Mello, with little interlude. They are either ridiculous or highly questionable. I say let someone else decided this time."

Matt and Mello looked at each other before saying in unison, "_You_?"

Near smiled a little and said a bit smugly, "No. L."

All three of them looked over to the adult sitting in a fetal position on the bed, his thumb in his mouth thoughtfully. He blinked and stared down at all the attention he was suddenly receiving.

"… Me?" he asked.

"Yes, please," Near implored quietly. "If you wouldn't mind coming up with one Mello and I could participate in."

L paused. "… All right. Mello, any objections?"

"Of course not!" Mello looked as if his heart would burst through his chest any moment now, his fists clenched at his sides and his chest moving sporadically. Near noticed this with a bit of surprise despite how he knew that Mello looked up to L. He said, "Anything you want, I'm up for it!"

"Yes, we both are," Near said.

"All right then…" L's eyes rolled upwards in thought. It was less than a minute before he said, "I'm growing tired of talking - both of you stay silent. The first one to utter a peep is the loser."

Matt raised his hand and brought it down swiftly. "Begin!"

Mello and Near stared at each other.

* * *

Scoreboard:

**PENDING...**

* * *

A/N: _Yes, yes, about to end. Review and place your bets, throw down all your money, people! SCREAM for your favorite!_


	23. Victory on the Run

Mercy Rule

Results!

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Mello and Near stared at each other.

There was a tense silence in the room - or there would have been a tense silence if not for Matt's hooting and words of encouragement. L simply sat back on the bed and watched as the two orphans battled each other silently, their eyes never leaving their opponent's.

Matt ran up to L's bed, jumped on top next to the young man and sat beside him, watching Mello and Near in fevered anticipation. He began to nervously tug at the hem of his tee-shirt.

"Agh! The _suspense_! The unadulterated _trepidation_! It's just too much for me, L!" Matt cried, fidgeting around.

"Matt, calm yourself."

"Jesus…" Matt breathed, not listening to his mentor. "You doin' all right, Mel? You need some water? How about some chocolate?" Matt called, much too loud for the fact that Mello was only four feet away.

Mello's eye twitched. _Matt, you idiot, shut up! I'm trying to concentrate! Why don't you make yourself useful? _Mello looked over at Matt for a moment, hoping his eyes would convey a meaningful message to his best friend.

Matt read it loud and clear with an emerging grin on his face.

"Hey, Near! How're you doing? You're looking pretty fine from where I'm sitting! Are those pajamas silk?"

Near blushed furiously but said nothing.

Mello frowned. _No good… He's not gonna talk! Dammit, this kid never says a word anyway, how the hell can I…_

Near, with his cheeks stained pink, kept his gaze steady. _Obviously, he's going to do anything to try to make me talk. Why would such a silly competition mean so much to him? His hands are shaking and he's sweating. Does he really think THIS is what will set us apart?_

Near was shaken out of his thoughts when he witnessed Mello rising fro his seat on the floor. L, Matt and Near watched as Mello came over and stood menacingly in front of Near, his fists clenched at his sides, fingers still shaking.

L blinked, his thumb pushing past his lips. _Is he really going to hit him…?_

Matt stood up on the bed and shouted, "Yo, Mel, leave the lower half unharmed, dude!"

Near looked up at Mello, meeting his gaze head-on, wondering also if he was going to be hit but that was just before Mello came down on his knees and pushed his lips roughly to Near's.

Matt gasped soundlessly.

L chewed on his thumb, watching with interest.

"Holy… _shit_," Matt said, taking the liberty of removing his goggles and setting them on his forehead.

Near's eyes were wide and he and Mello stayed still, with Mello's hands grasping Near's shoulders and their lips pressed as one, not moving as neither of them had any idea what to do.

Mello grinned on the inside. _This has GOTTA work. Any second, he'll push me away and tell me I'm a horrid something-or-other. I'm gonna win!_

Near closed his eyes then and pushed back, his hands coming up to cup Mello's cheeks and hold him in place as he tilted his head.

Mello opened his eyes this time, highly confused.

Matt pointed wildly. "MELLO! You no-good sheep-stealer! You've just been hanging out with me to take Near, haven't you?" he accused.

Mello rolled his eyes. _Oh yeah, Matt, that was my ingenious plan… Sheesh… But what the fuck is going ON?_

As Near pushed down lightly on Mello, climbing atop him and never breaking their lip-lock, his eyes flickered to the bed where L was seated, watching the two's movements. Near looked at L for a long moment and then finally, pulled away from Mello, just an inch.

"You win," he said and replaced his lips where they had been.

Unfortunately, Mello's jaw dropped in surprise right when Near spoke and the pale boy ended up placing his lips on Mello's tongue.

Near withdrew quickly, sputtering and wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Mello, honestly, that's so-"

"You _talked_!" Mello screeched, sitting up and flinging Near off of him.

Near went tumbling backwards as Mello stood up, utterly bamboozled. Mello had not the chance to say one more word before he was knocked over by a red flash which happened to be Matt, tackling him to the floor.

"M-Matt! What the fuck are you doing!" Mello shouted, being pinned to the ground.

Matt eased up a little, a confused look on his face as he stared down at his friend. "I dunno. But I _do _know you made a move on Near!"

"I did not!"

"You were playing tonsil-hockey with him, idiot!"

"_You're_ the idiot, I was trying to get him to talk!"

"Well it worked, asshole!"

"I know it worked, dickhead - Hey." Mello stopped, blinking. He tilted his head back to see Near climbing to his feet, rubbing the back of his head sorely. Mello said as if he didn't believe it, "I _won_, Near."

"Yes," Near said, "I believe I stated that earlier, when you were showing affection towards me."

"Yeah but - WAIT! I wasn't-"

"Ahem," L cleared his throat and stood up from where he had been sitting. All three boys stood at attention then as if they were about to hear God give them an extra commandment. L said calmly, "Mello, Near did speak first, so you are deemed the winner."

"YES! THIS IS SO _BOSS_!" Mello screamed, jumping around, pumping his fists in the air. "I'M NUMBER ONE!"

Near watched Mello's merry-making with quiet satisfaction. L came over to him and put his hand on the boy's soft head. "Near," he whispered, "you did a very good thing."

Near nodded.

Matt whined over in their direction, "When do _I_ get a kiss, huh?"

L groaned, fearing Matt's whining would never stop, and he came over to him and placed a small kiss on his lips.

Matt blinked and blushed delightedly. "Sweet."

Mello gaped. "Aw hell."

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Final Score:

Mello: 11 Near: 10

**Winner - Mello**

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"Heh. You read the score, Near. So? Are you broken? Beaten and bewildered?"

"No, but I am rather sleepy."

"… SLEEPY?"

"A tad bit."

"… You take the fun out of everything, I fuckin' swear…"

"Hey, dude, are you two gonna kiss again?"

"What the fuck? Matt, what're you doing here?"

"I thought you were upset that Mello showed affection towards me, Matt."

"I did _not_-"

"Ah, I'm fine now. I got me some L-lovin'."

"_What_? Matt, you-"

"'Sides, I got my camera now. Bring on the triple-X! Shota gets mad hits on YouTube!"

"_Matt_…"

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**END.**

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A/N: _Here we are, at another end. Any closing thoughts from anyone who enjoyed will be highly welcome. _

_See ya next time, kids._


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